Irina

In front of her monitors, Irina’s eyes started closing by themselves when the furry claw aimed for her head. It missed its target by an inch when the woman bent forward. The werewolf attacked on her left and missed her as she was now stretching her right side. He directed his next assault on her right. But she was bending on her left side now. Losing patience with his prey the monster jumped, … to crash on an empty chair that rolled and disappeared in the darkness. Irina turned back, completely oblivious of what she had just escaped.

The thirsty lady moseyed to the kitchen, when a hooded figure slipped in through the window as silently as a bat. As Irina entered, the invader dodged in the shadows. She hesitated between a simple glass of water or a small snack. Behind her, the lady vampire fangs were humming the air hungrily. She crawled around the central counter. That’s this moment Irina chose to bend over the counter to reach a drawer. She had no clue her predator had already vanished. The only proof of life was her, with the metal sound of cutlery as she was trying to grab a spoon. She had no idea a vampire was clinging to the walls just two meters away. The night took extra care to stay in her prey’s blind spot. In front of the fridge, Irina made the fatal error to stay still to yawn. The vampire slid with inhuman speed, fangs first, hand second to immobilise the helpless victim. But she only found a painful solid fridge door opening on her course. The vampire kneeled, hurt. Irina closed the fridge and moved away, a delicious yoghurt in her hands. Irritated, the livid shadow expected to jump on her when she was presenting her back. But the unnoticed puddle of glue on the floor kept her down. The shock made her collapse even harder. Face first on the floor, the lonely vampire was stuck and silenced, incapable of more than moaning.

Irina switched on the bathroom light and immediately began to undress. She dropped her hair band on the sink side. Finally free, her hair cascaded followed by her shirt sliding delicately on her back. She unbuttoned her pants and nearly fell as she stepped forward, the fabric still tangled around her legs. After an acrobatic manoeuvre, Irina escaped her blue hindrance. She started the radio. As soon as the first notes resonated, in her birthday suit, Irina jumped in the shower. Behind her the bathroom door was opened. The steam had already invaded the room when a ninja with generous hips entered. With the sound of the radio, she didn’t have to make a huge effort to cover her steps. She aimed at the defenceless Irina. But her hand was stopped before reaching the curtain. Barely visible, an uncertain shape dominated her. A hole in reality as in the steamy cloud, a spirit restrained her wrist. Behind her mask the ninja swore. She pivoted to hit with her free hand. But the ghost grabbed her second hand too. Not waiting for more restraints, she pushed with all her leg strength on the wall in front of her and made her opponent fly over her. The ghost presence recovered in a controlled slide on the bathroom tiles. Unfortunately, for the ninja this ghost was massive, way taller than her. And now he was between her and their target, he was the closest to victory. He understood that he could reach Irina. But he understood that her opponent would do everything she could. His survival instinct kicked in just fast enough for him to seize the laundry basket. The thin wood exploded as the fist pierced through it like it was nothing. The spirit saw his life before his eyes. The fist stopped no more than three centimetres of his face. The ninja flicked him, her fingers stretching just enough to land a hit. She aimed another punch at his side, but the spirit flipped the basket lid up just in time, locking her hand through it. She looked at him, surprised. He looked at her terrified knowing he was on her death list now. He twisted the laundry basket with her hand still trapped. But she needed more than that. She used the momentum to run on the sink block and pull him away from the shower. He nearly fell over, staying on his two feet only thanks to the towel hanger. The ninja screamed as she exploded the wood basket with a furious kick. Face to face again, but the ninja was the closest to success once more. She aimed at Irina. He towel-slapped her butt. The ninja stopped what she was doing and turned around. She couldn’t believe what he just had the audacity to do. He understood his mistake. She reached to strangle him, foaming with rage. Thanks to his lasso towel, he caught her wrist and sent her waltz back. The ninja disoriented; the ghost rushed the shower. He got around it but, blinded by the steam, he only manages to grab the soap. The ninja was back on her feet, steaming ever more than the water. The spirit hurled the soap at her. She dodged, but it ricocheted off the sink, smacked the ghost in the head, and landed on the floor… under his foot. In a spectacular and perfectly uncontrolled wheel, the ghost ate the floor. The ninja couldn’t resist a bursting laugh. She passed him victorious. Irina was lost. The ninja reached directly through the curtain. But the curtain folded on her hand, trapping her. A rope tightened and in the blink of an eye she was handled by her wrists like a rabbit in a snare.

In the steam, without paying attention to any of her assailants, Irina grabbed a towel and rushed for the next door in the corridor. The ghost, not really getting how the furious ninja ended up hanging like that, got back up still fuzzy. The awkward water stream reached their ears. The ghost wouldn’t let his chance pass even there.

“Hey!” the ninja griped still gesticulating.

“What?” the ghost asked.

“Not in the toilet,” she argued.

“Come on!” he protested, turning back on her like a child scolded by his mother.

“That’s the rule,” she stated.

“Arg! Fine.”

Realising she was definitely trapped, the ninja stopped trying to free herself. They stayed like that for what seemed an eternity in the middle of the night. They were looking at a closed door. The ghost was sitting in the bathroom entry, ready to jump on his prey. The ninja was trapped, but had managed to sit down on the cabinet above the sink.

“Don’t fall asleep now!” she told him.

“I won’t,” he responded. He was not sure it would be the case if she stayed there too long.

Bothered by the idea, he got back up and walked.

“Long time no see,” she pointed out.

“I was sick last time,” he explained.

“And I was giving birth the time before that,”

“Yep, and what a runner she is already!” he friendly replied.

“She has a warrior spirit like her mother,”

The steam sound stopped in the toilet but the light was still on. They observed the door, expecting. They were sweaty, and the steamy shower of Irina wasn’t the only reason.

“It’s a dumb rule,” he moaned once more.

“The rule of the dump,” she joked.

Maybe it was the tension, maybe it was the joy of seeing each other after so long, maybe it was because they were tired but the joke hit. They looked at each other trying to stay focused but it was already lost. They laughed sincerely.

When he turned back again, the toilet was empty. Just a door opened on a stupid ceramic toilet seat.

“Come on!” he spat, realizing the chatty ninja had tricked him. “That’s low! You would not even be able to get her!”

“Neither would you now,” she laughed as he was scrutinising both ways of a completely silent and empty corridor.

Indeed, Irina was already in her room, ignorant of the monsters’ quarrel. But they were not the only ones after her. A dark shadow was ahead of Irina. Her prey took her time to get into comfy pyjamas. That was not helpful. The vampire’s dress was torn from toes to ass and her face was red from the free epilation earlier in the kitchen. Irina took some time to look at her phone, just standing there in the middle of the room. The vampire lady could have tried to catch her there but she was stuck on the ceiling. She was waiting for her prey to be exactly where she would be unmissable. But holding on to the ceiling was a limited strategy. Irina made one step toward her bed. Faster! The vampire muscles were shaking. One more step. She lifted the bed sheet. The vampire was so sweaty she nearly fell one second before the ultimate moment. Irina rolled into the warm sheet. Her attacker dropped down, fangs first. And she bounced on the bed, overshooting her prey. She finished her course through the open window. Sitting on the edge of her bed, Irina plugged her phone for the night, as if nothing had happened.

The night was darkness incarnate. Only the dim moonlight was reaching from outside. Mister werewolf was the first to find her place, the first to arrive. She was her prize. He was defeated once tonight, not twice. He climbed through the open windows. As soon as he put a foot inside, a giant log detached from the ceiling. It was designed to blast him outside, but he dodged it. He switched on his night vision goggles. That enabled him to jump between the bear traps covering the floor. He was just next to the bed, but he froze there. He grabbed his knife and threw it above his head to immobilise the bowling ball that was in a perilous equilibrium just there. Not risking any other trip, he threw his net over the whole bed. Trapped there, Irina shacked like an animal. Mister werewolf jumped on her. He was the winner. He had caught her.

At the door, Irina switched on the light, blinding him. Mister werewolf looked in the bed to find nothing but a dummy with a wig.

“Sorry, I won,” Irina said, smirking as she held up her phone screen.

00:01, game over!

“Fudge!”

“One more year!” she added, sticking her tongue out.

“You dodge us all even if you are deaf, damn!” the man complained as he removed his werewolf mask.

“Partially deaf but mainly not stupid. I’ve simply prepared.”

“I saw that. This is Home Alone tier!”

“A small inspiration, I have to admit.”

She handed him a water bottle, which he accepted without any protest. He was pissed to have lost once more, no need to be a long-term friend to see that.

“I was so close this year!” the werewolf man cursed.

“You took your time to locate me.”

“Yep, when did you move?”

“I haven’t, I just rented this for Halloween week.”

“A full week just for one day of the contest? You’re crazy.”

“Says the guy dressed as a werewolf in full tactical gear!”

“That didn’t help. Anyway, see you tomorrow at the pub?” he asked, already sure his old friend will respect tradition.

“Yes, drinks are on me—after all, I won. Could you untie Sylvia in the bathroom before you leave?”

“OK, as long as all the traps are off.”

“They all have been triggered now!” she proudly laughed.

“So, good night and congratulations, queen of tag!”